Believe in Dreams
by Hitsuiro Issa
Summary: Another Sayu oneshot. This time, based on the Live action movie two. Her thoughts about certain things, and certain dreams. No incest, geez, I never write incest. RxR. Very much appreciated. Thank you.


I believe in Dreams.

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She was never good at cooking, but she liked helping her mother do so.

It is Light's birthday today, and yes, tonight they'd make cake. One of her favorites, at that. It would be chocolate with vanilla icing, peanut sprinkles, and some pieces of milk chocolate bar poking at the sides. It would be small, just enough for a family of three. But weren't there four?

While her mother isn't looking, she takes a peak at the living room and sees his picture. His smile was genuine there, carefree, just like the brother she had grown up with. She could see how handsome he was, his teeth nearly white, his hazel eyes sparkling joyfully with...delight. And yet such an image brought tears to her eyes.

She had told herself thousands of times that crying wouldn't help anyway. They only made it worse- people would see her as a child again and try to give her comfort. Sometimes she just wanted to push them away- like in his funeral- so she could at least try to find peace in her solitude.

It was snowing that day, white fluffy flakes showering upon the crowd of black; almost everyone had an umbrella. Where was hers? She must've left it at the car. She should get it. The snow was starting to come down a little faster, and she'd be covered by the powdery mass and soil her mourning dress.

The thoughts were only undone deeds in her mind- she wasn't seeing anymore. All there was before her was her brother's casket, a pure white, inside it Light Yagami himself. The genius. The prodigy. Why was he dead?

The tears had not come that time- instead, fury did. She hated how he had gambled his life away, his seemingly perfect life; she hated how he insisted on playing the game instead of giving up; she hated how right he was, how innocent his intention seemed to be- but killing was still murder, no matter whom he did kill, and though this was what she had been told of by her father thousands of times...that did not clear his name in her mind.

_Onii-sama only wanted the world to become a better place. He held no intention in the riddance of the criminals, and yet...what of the others he had kill to get them out of his way? _

She could remember the way her body trembled in anger. It was still impossible for him to become Kira- but who else could have been intelligent enough to devise such plans? Onii-sama had always been a tad arrogant, she had said to herself. Look at where all this has gotten him to!

The shaking wasn't enough. Before they knew it, before she was even conscious of it, she had run to the altar of white flowers and screamed. She screamed at his stupidity, at his death, at the person who had brought him like this, at the gods who supposedly were watching over them, at L, at his girlfriend, and at everyone who had started to pull her away.

Light was gone. There would be no more jokes and harmless teasing at home, there would be no more late night tutorials and lessons about her homework problems, there wouldn't be anyone who'd tell her off for watching and listening to music instead of the news, there wouldn't be the same handsome face who'd peak in her room once in a while, her brother, her understanding, intelligent and handsome brother...he's gone, and he's never coming back!

Had she fainted that day? Perhaps she didn't- but she did cry a lot on her father's shoulder. And ruined his suit. If it was some ordinary day, he might've gotten angry. But he didn't, and she had cried, while her mother did the same- only a bit silently, not unlike her screaming and complaining and...

...she had sounded like a child.

If Light was there, he'd bring her outside and assure her that everything was alright. Sometimes there would be light teasing- but that was only to cheer her up. He never liked to see her sad. It brought others sadness too, and...she cried a lot. Even for her age.

"But can you blame me?" She had always retorted, with a small smile of defiance peeking beneath the tears.

_Yes...can you truly blame me? _

She couldn't sleep the night later on. She had tossed and turned, tightening her hug around the bear she slept with, and yet sleep did not claim her. Perhaps she was still hoping for her door to open a bit, and a head would peep in and smile at her with the same and familiar captivating grin, and he would bid her good night with his sweet and musical tenor of voice, before he himself would resign to sleep.

How she had missed him. How empty the past year had been.

Breaking from her stupor, she turns her gaze back to her mother, who had been saying something. She realized that Sachiko was mourning too- and it wouldn't be nice to spoil the dinner. Not now. Not ever. "Okasan, look! It's snowing!"

Sure enough, soft little snow began drifting lazily down their house, looking peaceful through the glass windows. It was the same weather during his funeral. How she hated the snow.

"...Did your father bring an umbrella?" she hears her mother finish, and quickly she shook her head- then an idea came.

"Okasan, I should go and fetch him, the cake will be a surprise." she says, running to the living room and grabbing her own umbrella- small and yellow. Light's had been black, but her father was using it now. So she won't see it for awhile. And remember.

The streets weren't empty by the time she left the house, almost everybody with somebody else underneath the umbrellas with the color of their choice. She watches them, somewhat enviously, as she herself made her way through the snow, hugging herself. It was so cold. If only she had taken a better and thicker jacket along.

She finds her father soon enough, and they walked back home together, this time underneath Souichiro's umbrella. Or to say, Light's. Should she say something? The wounds had not healed yet, and she was afraid that she might cry again. She didn't want to cry again.

"Sometimes I wish that Kira would return right now." she says suddenly, not sure of what she really meant, but her father replies nonetheless. "Whether it reminds you of Light-" he was saying, then she cuts through him in defiance and...maybe even embarrassment at what she had told him. "Yeah- no...but he killed onii-sama!"

Then the walls break down, and the feelings returned.

She dips her head, wiping her tears with her scarf, as her father placed an arm around her shoulders. "Light...would surely hear that."

Light. Yes, he would hear that, and maybe he'd get angry at such a desperate wish, but even if it meant another round of scolding just to be with him, she'd send him thousands of thoughts and complaints that would surely make him angry. Just to be with him again.

Her sight grew blurry with all the mist that plagued her eyes, and she closes the caramel orbs to let the tears flow.

Just to divert her attention, she turns her head to the side to watch a young man just about her age walk silently through the snow, his hands in his pockets. She wonders if he was having a hard time like she was, but that was hardly the reason. She could tell. Maybe he was in a heartbreak, and walking out in the cold would help him appease the pain- or rather, wake him from his terrible dream.

Maybe this was a dream too; she was just imagining all this, and she wasn't really there, but in her bed. When she would wake up, Light would be there, and they'd be complete, and this worrisome shadow of grief would dissipate in the air. Or was it otherwise; she was dreaming for those things to happen, while the truth was this cruel reality. How confusing. How utterly desperate.

_I had always believed in dreams when I was a kid. It never really mattered if they were insane or impossible- they were just real to me. Why can't I believe in them now? _

The tears returned, and this time she let the sobs come. She couldn't take in any more.

_I remember the day he died. I was highly skeptical about his death, but when ottosan came in with his body, cold and pale, I had dropped to the floor that time. And crawled to onii-sama. And placed my ear on his chest to listen- and wished- for a beat. There hadn't been any, my father was telling me that himself, he would never lie about his son- so why was it so hard to believe? Had I been caught up in my dreams again, in the insane dream of him opening his eyes that I'd never imagine to open, and he would smile his angelic smile that was a tad too angelic for me? _

_I had gone into his room and stayed there for hours. Just staring, I guess. At that time, there was nothing, just the numbing pain. And the tears did come. They always do. _

"Sayu," whispers her father, breaking her line of thought. "It's alright. I know you miss him but..." he pauses, a bit, and her teary eyes watch him silently. "...we should move on. Light would want that."

"Yeah, he probably would." she says into the fabric of her scarf, damp and cold. He would like that.

_But I would still believe in dreams. After all, they're the only ones who so far had provided me comfort. Solace. If ever it was possible, I would live in them forever. _

_But if dreams were real, I can do that too. _

_And I would be with him again. _

**owarimasu.**

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**A/N: ** Something I had come up with after watching Death note Live action: The last name. x3 It was so sad. But the subtitles were crappy, so I had to come up with my own versions of their speech which surely weren't…precise. Quite. So anyway, rate and review. I always love to hear from you guys. Dx


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